DAYS OF BEER AND ROSES

For some reason - maybe out of curiosity - I was on the web last night checking to see what beer was deemed 'worst in the world'. Now, I'm not planning on going back to drinking; no way, but since the industry has changed so much since I stopped, I wanted to see what was what.

Top of the list - according to ratebeer.com - is Natural Light. This site supposedly consists of expert tasters, but there are a few wise asses who post their so called 'opinions', but their ratings aren't taken into consideration. But I digress.

Funny that I don't remember drinking Natural Light. It either didn't make much of an impression or, I was already shitfaced when I tried it. Most of the big industry light beers got lame ratings; guess it really is the alcohol content that counts. Then again, if that were true, the malt liquors would be high on the lists (which of course they aren't).

A lot of the Big Breweries have been doing something weird for the past ten or so years: they're flavoring the beer with bizarro shit. Budweiser makes one called Chelada, which is mixed with Clamato. Fucking Clamato? What the fuck is that all about? Just the thought of it is nauseating, let alone the picture of it: red tomato colored thing with a foamy beer head on top. Plus clams in the mix? Blecchh! Is this an attempt to shove all the food elements of a picnic or party into one can? What's next? Bud with lobster tail juice? Miller with oyster bits floating about in the solution? Phew!

Then I did a flip about and checked which beers were deemed the best in the world. As I expected, a lot of them were micro brews. Funny names too, and the top rated beer in the world is called Three Floyds Dark Lord Russian Imperial Stout made in Munster, Indiana (how about that image: Grandpa Munster standing over this bubbling cauldron stirring it with a row boat paddle and when he takes it out, it's burned). Russian Imperial Stout. The Dark Lord title also gives off an image of the devil or Rasputin standing over the cauldron, tossing body parts and bats into the mix.

In any event, it's supposed to be an excellent beer but I ain't gonna try it. I've addressed this ad nauseum, but my drinking days are over. Besides, that shit is supposed to be very expensive.

Stay tuned for part 2 of this poor grammar bad sentence structure blog called "Beers of The Past".