TASTE TEMPTING

... and right from New Orleans!

Molasses milkshake? Barf -a-rama! Puke-a-tronic! I mean, look what kids were subjected to in those days!

Double your iron intake if served with liver and onions. Splecch!

IT POPS, OR YOUR MONEY BACK

OK. Let me get this straight: every kernel pops or your money back. So do I have to send all the unpopped kernels to Jolly Time? Because sure as hell they ain't gonna take 'em back at the service counter at Tops, Wegman's, Grand Union, etc. Can you imagine the look on their face when you dump a can full of unpopped kernels on the counter and ask for your money back? Oy vey!

This reminds me of someone I know who bought a camping tent, used it, then brought it back to the store and tried to get his money back - leaves, dirt and all. I never knew the outcome, but I'll give him this much: when he bangs them together they play "Stormy Weather".

LEWYT

LEWYT! The  World's Most Modern Vacuum Cleaner. It's Quiet. It's Powerful. So safe a baby can put his finger inside the motor! And it's approved by Good Housekeeping so you KNOW it must be good.

Possibly the reason that Lewyt is no longer manufactured.

NO MORE MOWING!

Imagine! No more mowing! Now what could this stuff possibly be made of? Why not just dig up the lawn and pave over the spot in a green color? You'd have a green lawn year round. "Mondo Grass": sounds like a Frank Zappa tune or something.

YUCK!!

"WHO PISSED IN THE ICE TRAY!"

ROYLIES

Meals look better but still taste like shit.

TOO TEMPTING

Gee! You think little kids would mistake this for soda pop? The people who handle packaging at the Bruce company didn't think this through. Looks like a giant bottle of tasty orange soda. Maybe floor wax is a good laxative. Who knows? But certainly I ain't gonna try it.

A GIFT IDEA FOR CHRISTMAS

Just what I always wanted! I can see some nut job stamping his initial on everything: the walls, the floors, the ceiling, his tools (and his tool - whoops!), the dog, the kids, his wife, etc... And for only $3.99! What a bargain! I wonder if this place is still in business.

PAYING FOR THE HOUSE

This must be some house if the bank accepted a Foley Saw Filer as payment.

POPULAR SCIENCE MARCHES ON

Wanted! Men of vision! Men from 17-55! To blow up the world! Devry Institute has just the program for you! Ka-POW!

Why the 55 year old cutoff date? Isn't that discrimination against senior citizens (or a little young to labeled as such). Knowing all the cloak and dagger stuff that surrounds the organizations that manufacture these weapons, they probably take you out when you turn 55. A Logan's Run scenario, if you will.