Thursday, April 23, 2009
JACKIE MARTLING'S HOUSES
Sunday, April 19, 2009
FRAGMENTS
THESE ARE FRAGMENTS
I was watching Artie Lang on the Stern Show, and the others were giving him a hard time about his habit of lying just to placate other people in his life. The chief one was that he was going to therapy two times a week when in fact, he ditched it after one visit. A compulsive liar? A habitual liar? A chronic liar? Some information on the web says there’s no such thing. I disagree. I worked with one back in the early 90’s. Here’s his deal (in fragments of course):
Around 1990, I worked as part of a maintenance crew at an apartment complex. There were three of us; the apartment manager, the compulsive liar, and myself. This guy was rather large and muscular, with afro type curly hair and no teeth. We would meet every morning to go over the pile of work orders; repairs that needed to be done and prepping vacant apartments so they could be shown to prospective tenants. We would bullshit about other things as well.
One morning we were talking about a plane crash that happened out on the East coast. The manager was an amateur boxer and he was telling us about a harrowing flight he took on his way to a match . A hurricane had moved inland and the plane was fighting to stay above the clouds. It was then that The Compulsive Liar claimed he had never flown.
During another bull session we were talking about army and the war. It was then The Compulsive Liar stated that he flew helicopters in Vietnam. OK. So he’s never flown. How the fuck did he get to ‘Nam? Swim? Took a boat? He’d rather be at the controls of a chopper than fly a plane? It was then every story he’d ever told became suspect. Whatever topic came up, he’d had an experience with it. One summer, the manager hired a temp - a college kid - to help with the overload of work we had. We’d goof on The Compulsive Liar - behind his back of course.
One thing we were sure that he’d done in his past; he was a carpet installer. His former employer was contracted by the complex to be their chief carpet man. The process would go as follows: The Liar would take the company pickup to a carpet retailer, stack the rolls in the bed of the truck and drive them to the complex. What we learned later is that he didn’t have a license and before he’d pick the rolls up, he would spend a few hours at his hangout - a dive bar around the corner from where he lived.
I really have no idea why I’m writing about this. One episode of the Life of Artie Lang led to it. I guess. I don’t know. I’m tired of thinking and writing in coherent sentences. Since I don’t plan to make a career out of writing, then why the fuck should I care?