...AND NOW

They don't even let you have fun on the bus anymore.

I'd like to pull a Bender move while dining at a fine restaurant, asking the waiter "can I see your fortified wine list?"

KNOCK DOWN LOADED

I drank this shit on a bus ride to a party; in a paper bag no less. It was common practice ( for alky's like me anyway ) to get loaded before arriving because some people would hoard the alcohol to make sure they didn't run out; a safety stash, if you will.

Christ Almighty what the fuck did I do to myself?

IT'S HALLOWEENIE TIME! IT'S HALLOWEENIE TIME!

Okay. In a few moments in will be Halloween. More like Vandalism-ween.

We haven't had trick or treaters here in over 30 years, no joke. Most likely all of the kids in the neighborhood have grown up and moved on to bigger and better things; they've become yard bosses at Albion Correctional Facility.

Here's a question: what elements does a book or movie have to have to be categorized as "horror"? I always thought of "Lord of The Flies" as a horror movie; same for "Deliverance". " I Heart Huckabee's"; very very horrific!

I've posed this question to a few people and they've said that there has to be a supernatural element in the movie for it to be labeled as "horror". One fault with that logic: "Psycho" is considered one of the all time classic horror movies, yet there is no supernatural element to it. Insanity, yes. Ghosts, demons and creatures? None.

Here's how I define a horror movie: one that horrifies the audience, no matter what the plot.

In the past - and currently - torture movies are considered horror, i.e," Last House on The Left", " Saw", "Hostel" and "Hostel 2" ( which is really over the top), and the aforementioned "I Heart Huckabees." But man oh man, "Hostel 2" really goes over the edge. I just can't believe it was nationally released; that and it never caught any backlash for some of its scenes.

Oh well. It's a Happy Crappy Nappy Bappy Halloween, and all is to rest easy, until the nightmares come ( and the definition of a nightmare is dreaming of being tied to a chair and forced to watch "I Heart Huckabees" and "Ishtar" over and over again, much like Alec in "A Clockwork Orange".)

THIS IS GRANDMA

... and this is her teeth. Was she being funny or trying to scare the shit out of us? Before my time, so I don't remember.

We have a pic of my grandfather's mother; yes, she must have contracted one of those Victorian plagues. As Colonel Kurtz said "The horror! The horror!" Her pic soon to be posted ( as soon as I can locate it.